My​ ​mother​ ​is​ ​the​ ​rock​ ​between​ ​my​ ​teeth​ ​and​ ​my​ ​throat, keeping​ ​me​ ​from​ ​breathing,​ ​from​ ​speaking.
My​ ​mother​ ​becomes​ ​lodge​ ​in​ ​my​ ​molar​ ​teeth— pushing​ ​up​ ​against​ ​my​ ​tongue,
Her​ ​edges​ ​scrape
my​ ​mouth,​ ​make​ ​me​ ​bleed
but​ ​I​ ​swallow​ ​to​ ​keep​ ​from
frightening​ ​myself.
Phlegm​ ​try​ ​to​ ​dilute​ ​her​ ​but​ ​she​ ​is​ ​cancerous, burrowing​ ​herself​ ​in​ ​my​ ​cheek.
When​ ​I​ ​try​ ​to​ ​bite​ ​her​ ​down​ ​I
see
the
correa
coming
straight
for
my​ ​face​ ​and

I​ ​cower​ ​like​ ​I​ ​am​ ​eight​ ​again,

holding​ ​back​ ​the​ ​tears​ ​of​ ​fear,​ ​of​ ​anger.

I​ ​cannot

speakformywordsareherwords​ ​and

I. am.​ ​afraid.​ ​to
speak.
I​ ​cannot​ ​make​ ​my​ ​own​ ​thoughts

for​ ​those​ ​are​ ​vile​ ​and​ ​venomous,

desiring​ ​to​ ​holler​ ​words​ ​of​ ​freedom!

Oh,​ ​poetry​ ​in​ ​a​ ​morning​ ​sun!
a​ ​lover’s​ ​kiss​ ​against​ ​my​ ​skin!

My​ ​mother​ ​is​ ​the​ ​rock​ ​in​ ​my​ ​belly,
sturdy​ ​and​ ​sure,​ ​yet,​ ​unwanted
for​ ​her​ ​influence​ ​appears​ ​in​ ​a​ ​volatile​ ​state. When​ ​I​ ​force​ ​myself​ ​to
throw​ ​up​ ​she​ ​punches​ ​my​ ​gut
and​ ​keeps​ ​me​ ​in​ ​her​ ​choke​ ​hold​ ​reminding​ ​me over​ ​and​ ​over​ ​how​ ​pathetic​ ​and​ ​useless
I​ ​am​ ​in​ ​this​ ​world.
So​ ​I​ ​swallow​ ​her​ ​down​ ​and​ ​perhaps,
this​ ​is​ ​temporary

*The opinions and ideas expressed are solely those of the author, and do not reflect the opinions of The Bronx Brand*

Cynthia Roman is a Bronx Native from the West Bronx.  The Bronx has showed Cynthia that if we want to make a difference, we need to be the difference and believe in the community that creates a space that gives power to our young black and brown youth so that they feel capable to make a difference in the world.  She speaks out on injustices including food access, housing opportunities and racism. Her favorite part of living in the Bronx is the food! As a Dominirriqueña, her culture is very present in The Bronx.

You can follow Cynthia on Instagram: @92romanchickens

and on her website: cynthiapoems.wordpress.com