One day I woke up crying and flustered,
Trying to get someone’s attention.
I was surrounded by people,
But no one would listen.
They would only stare in amazement.
“Look,
It’s a new born baby boy.”
Boy,
If only I knew what I was in for…A mother who was on my abortion table,
Yet,
For some reason God decided I should be cradled.
A father who cared more about riding in his cab,
Picking up passengers while he drives past his fam.
I’m mad,
Though…Who would’ve known,
I was going to have two parents,
One light,
One black and,
Average of all things,
With a mean dream for big money,
Yelling in my ear what I was,
Without asking me what I would like to become…
So,
Growing up,
I figured our way of living had to be redone…

Still,
I had no choice but to be enslaved by those who were coined to guide me,
No matter how much nonsense they were trying to pass by me…
Like,
Being forced to check Hispanic whenever I was surveyed.
Coercing me to celebrate months by the skin tone and pervade,
Hatred for what is not mine.
Convincing me I’m from an island I had not been to,
One time…

Are they out of their minds?
I ought to rewind,
And see if that’s true.
How is that so If I came out the womb?
Whatever…
Even though an era passed,
Tethering this given image festering amongst my insecurities…

So many nights wondering,
“What am I?”
Latino,
Like mom said I was?
A come mangu,
Even it wasn’t asked for by my taste buds?
I got to ask,
Was that more important than those nights I tasted blood,
And couldn’t get a hug?
I was nothing but angry!

Punching holes on the wall.
Depicting patterns of a fatal matter.
A destiny,
Splattered with ink.
Shattered,
By precincts with my name on it…
So many men in blue,
Expecting me to lose my cool at any given time,
Labeled a slime,
But,
It seemed like…
My parents were the ones that put me on that road…

Insanity,
I was driven to as days grew cold,
Because,
The ones who were supposed to teach me right,
Didn’t feed me much light.
Full of darkness most nights.
Oceans of tears flowed in plain sight,
That could not be seen by those I held tight,
As I slipped and drowned,
Floating into rock bottom…

While the Earth fights over skin color,
Then,
And now,
As autumn creeps in,
I’m cut off from my family tree,
Everybody’s leaving…
If blood can’t pump through the humps,
Shouldn’t I quit beating,
My heart down?
Over what apparently made me?
I’m neither black or white,
I’m in the gray area,
When I’m treated like an alien on sight…

Kind of like my parents,
Right?
They weren’t welcome here even if America is where they grew up.
Kind of like home.
Molded by hysteria and labeled a screw up…

What?
I’m not good enough?
Porque no me gusta Bachata Y Salsa?
Me gusta rapear.
Raised in the home of hip hop,
With only one latin rapper going platinum,
Now deceased.
So,
I had Tupac in my ears when I shed a tear,
Only god can judge me.
Always been an Outkast,
Not a big boy,
But a man
Keeping it a stack to the 3rd degree.
I dream big,
Been ready to die.
So,
When I kick in the door.
I’ll make sure you heard of me…

Because,
My creators gave me a cold shoulder,
As a child yelling for help with nyquil dripping,
While I rolled over,
Waiting for death to start digging ditches.
As I never felt secure in their arms,
Always felt closer…
Now that I’m older,
And look at this body,
A temple given by powers of the Unknown,
All I know is,
I just want love.
And not dwell on what I came from…
Those struggles lashed out on their backs
Chaining me in cuffs…
I had no choice but to rise above,
And see a different light blind eyes can’t see when life gets rough…

I was put on this Earth to be me,
Till the last moment I rest beneath a rose bud…