Alive Without You
By: Rafael “Melodic” Reyes

You made so many claims of how I held you back,
From whatever you thought I held you back from.
You made it clear as day,
That it was I who kept you from swaying your feet back and forth while induced with midnight laughter.
And,
Although each claim is known to be false,
At least in my eyes,
I let you believe it within your own blindness…

What I held you back from,
Really,
Was from showing your true colors.
I kept this angelic picture of you in my mind for so long,
I had forgotten about each one of your imperfections that raked my heart with barb wire.
Each flaw leading me to feel as if I did not deserve life in all its glory…

Like,
Your will to ignore pain…,
Your ability to jail a thought worth confronting behind your head,
Was the equivalent to how easily wind can carry a paper airplane thrown into a windy sky.
Sprinting for distance quickly was never a problem when your true self needed to hide from eyes focusing on what’s real,
For a change…

And,
I was in pain for a long time.
A sight you guaranteed yourself to disregard.
But,
According to the standards of modern day “womyn,”
Weak my inner child was for not forcing a smile through turmoil.
Weak my inner child was for releasing boat loads,
And boat loads of tears stowed away for all the wrong reasons as man bred from the riches of poverty…

No longer was I the iron-willed man you fell in love with after my armor was pierced,
As if it’s impossible to be wounded during times of War.
From what I understood,
Knives slice through flesh,
Like all the steel I’ve used to cut through my own.
So,
I would know…

But,
One thing is true.
With all this time,
Without you,
My skin has healed on its own.
Scars I will never forget…

*The opinions and ideas expressed are solely those of the author, and do not reflect the opinions of The Bronx Brand*

Rafael “Melodic” Reyes lived in many parts of the Bronx, from Kingsbridge to 134th st. & Cypress ave and from Grand concourse and University ave. on 174th. He feels that living in the Bronx, you must have the backbone of an Ox, the legs of Hercules and a heart of golden tranquility. What he always loved most we’re blackouts. In his building on University ave, across the street from the cross Bronx bridge, the building suffered from a few power outages. And in each outage, the whole neighborhood would bring out beach chairs and little tables, domino sets, playing cards, even left over food and we’d all buy each other what we need if we didn’t have it. It was the best time because it showed our strength in our community, through our poverty as well. One thing you can always count on in the Bronx, is the culture of unity when tragedy strikes.

Follow him here:

m3l0dicrhythmz.wordpress.com

Instagram: @m3l0dic