Hello to My Depression
Hello to My Depression
I wish I could tell you the thoughts in my head.
The thoughts that say “I wish I was dead”
Because everyday I wake up and I feel so crappy. The only thing I want in this life is to be happy.
Just want to take a gun, load it up and put a bullet in my head. Just take my life and bring it to an end.
But the only thing that keeps me here is my family and friends.
But the sadness I feel in my heart is starting to become a trend.
So I smile and I laugh hoping I can fake it. And every night I pray to God hoping that he can take it.
My depression, I don’t want this anymore. Every morning it brings pain to my body and it’s something I can’t ignore.
Tears I cry because I’m dying inside.
I just want to feel alive and smile sometimes.
But I can’t, the sadness is drowning me
It’s making me weak and got me begging at my knees. For relief I need it. Peace I seek it. Sanity is unreachable. This illness is unspeakable.
I feel crazy I feel weird. I just want to be normal.
This depression I have makes me feel abnormal.
So living is not an option. Death is what I prefer.
It doesn’t matter anymore. My depression has made my life a blur.
*The opinions and ideas expressed are solely those of the author, and do not reflect the opinions of The Bronx Brand*
Ashley Effrece is from the Kingsbridge section of the Bronx and grew up in the Throggs Neck projects. She loves the Bronx and considers it a damsel in distress. Her mission is to defend the Bronx, and help promote it’s culture, truth and light. She loves that the Bronx is raw, beautiful, gritty, resilient and so are the people. Bronxites are leaders, fighters, and winners. “We are the strongest New Yorkers I know.”
